Parental Instinct
by Rin-neechan
Summary: Big Boss exhibits his parenting skills, without even knowing he had any, by doing what all parents do. Nit-picking at everything.


This took me all of fifteen minutes to write, when a random idea came to my head at 2:30 in the morning, oh boy.

* * *

Big Boss stalked through the corridors of his unit's headquarters as he was trying to find a specific soldier responsible for a mess of paperwork that looked like it had been written by a drunk four year-old and demand that they rewrite it immediately.

That kind of work was completely unacceptable for somebody on his unit. FOXHOUND didn't recruit lazy people, slackers or people with no regard for their duty. He briefly remembered being young himself, and hating the paperwork part of his duty, and figured if he was that young again, he might not be as angry. But with all his years of experience, the insolence of young people was enough to make him sick.

As he walked through his unit, passing his soldiers, who made way for him without a word, he was completely oblivious to the attention his very presence demanded from them. They could all see the frustration on his face and were simply praying that he walked past them, a clear indication that they weren't the cause of his anger.

Eventually, not finding the soldier he was looking for, he checked the time cards to find that soldier in particular wasn't scheduled for work today. If he was a more cruel person, he'd call them into work and make them resubmit their reports, but noted that they'd catch much more than an earful from him the following morning.

On his way back to his office to try and make sense of the mess he was carrying, he spied his newest recruit. The young, twenty-three year-old ex-Marine was using a counter top to do paperwork. Big Boss was surprised not to see him training, honing his CQC in the basement room of the building, but remembered that even when not scheduled, the young soldier would dedicate his days off to training, waiting to be assigned to mission support, or lead operating agent of a mission himself.

He was a young soldier, a rookie in FOXHOUND, but a five year Marine. Hardly any amount of time to brag about, so Big Boss brought it upon himself to make sure he wouldn't see the same mess of paper on his desk from this soldier as he did from the other.

Big Boss approached the young soldier, standing at his side until the young man felt his presence and looked up from his papers. He dropped his pen and stood at attention, awaiting an order from his commanding officer, like any good soldier. Big Boss scanned the young man's attire quickly and scowled.

"Solid Snake, tuck in your shirt." The young soldier took a moment to make sense of the unexpected order, before doing just that. However, Big Boss still wasn't satisfied.

"Pull up your pants and tighten your belt." Again, without a word, Snake did as he was ordered. Before issuing another order, Big Boss reached over and adjusted the collar of Snake's black fatigue so it was neatly folded down. Having adjusted his collar, Big Boss got a better look at the young man's face.

"Do something with your hair, boy. Tie it back, or cut it. And shave on a daily basis." Snake had no more than a five o'clock shadow that had grown in that afternoon from his morning shave, but instead of arguing with his commander, he nodded and scratched his neck. He also took a moment to decide that he'd wear his black bandanna to work from now on.

"And cut your fingernails, they're too long." Another nod from Snake, then a quick glance at his hands, to find they weren't that long at all, but again, refrained from arguing with the short tempered old man in front of him.

Big Boss stepped back and scanned Snake again, finally half way satisfied with his appearance. Before he could say anything else, Snake spoke up.

"Anything else, Big Boss?" Big Boss would normally not accept being spoken to that way, especially by a rookie, but for some reason, he let that comment slide.

"Yes, actually. You smoke?"

"Yeah."

Big Boss placed his cigar in his mouth as Snake inferred what he wanted. He dug into his back pocket and produced his zippo lighter. He flipped it open and ignited it, leaning in to Big Boss's cigar, using his free hand to cover the flame from anything that could put it out. With his cigar lit, Big Boss took a short drag, and dismissed his rookie, walking back to his office. From the corner of his eye, Big Boss saw Snake return to his paperwork after a short roll of his eyes which he chose to ignore.

Once there, he found his best man, Grey Fox, sitting in his rotating chair, seeming rather amused.

"That was almost... fatherly of you." Taking a moment to consider that notion, Big Boss grabbed his forehead and loudly sighed, realizing Fox was right. Wanting to change the topic, he responded quickly.

"Shut up and get back to work." Fox laughed as he got up from the old man's chair and exited his office, laughing dryly, mocking his old friend.

* * *

Yeah, I'm done. Rin out.


End file.
